happy birthday pawpaw!!!

to my pawpaw:
today was your birthday!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! did you know that i always thought you were so dang cool for having a birthday on the first day of the year! i mean you were very cool, but your birthday just made you that more awesome! today i woke up and the first thing i thought...happy birthday pawpaw!!

and then i found this on my computer this afternoon:
"i often think about the last conversation we had. i remember it word for word, all the emotion. had i known god was going to take another angel, there are so many more things i would have said to you."

i remember so vividly my last conversation with you. i had only been at work at big thunder mountain for a few hours, i wasn't having a great day..my managers called me to the trailer and i was scared to death! i thought i was losing my job. they sat me down and told me it was time, that you were getting really sick and you wanted to talk to me! i called you and i just cried the whole time! you told me as soon as you got out of the hospital you were going to come see me, not to worry that you would be alright! i don't think i have ever said i love you so much in a conversation!! and i don't think i had ever cried so hard either! i couldn't stand knowing that i might lose you!!

you were the best to me!! you thought i was a little princess! do you remember my playhouse you built me?! gosh i loved that thing! it was so cool, i know little girls today would be jealous of that thing!! and my rocking horse!! ha, you were so crafty and handy!! and i always loved your wooden characters you had built for easter and other holidays!

i know we aren't supposed to regret things in life...we are supposed to learn from our past. you taught me that a phone call could mean a lot! you always wanted me to call and check in on you! i wish i would have done that more! there's a lot of things i wish i could have one more of; the biggest is a hug from you! i wish for that a lot!!!

i know you watch down on me everyday! i know you watch all of us!! i know i have an angel with me every where i go!! i hope you are smiling at the things i'm accomplishing! i miss you soo much!! i love you to the moon and back!! :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!